Maintaining her independence is important to Betty Milne. Having Hospice support has enabled Betty to remain in her own home, on her own terms.
Originally from the Wairarapa, she has lived in Rotorua for 48 years. Betty and her husband Geoff moved to Rotorua, as they wanted to be closer when their first grandchild was born in Taumarunui.
It came as a shock when Betty was diagnosed with cancer in 2021. She had been receiving treatment for a thyroid condition but hadn’t been prepared for a cancer diagnosis.
“People think it’s not going to happen to them, but life can change in an instant.”
When it returned a year later, she decided that she didn’t want any further treatment. That was when palliative care was first mentioned. Hospice got in touch to ask what help Betty would like. Initially it was just phone calls, then progressed to visits once or twice a week.
“I’m surprised every day with how wonderful they are. They are so thoughtful and caring.
They are here to help me live my life, the way I want to live it. My independence is important to me. I’ve been independent since my mother died when I was 3 years old. Without Hospice care, I would be stuck in a small room with no independence. I’d be miserable. With their help, I have been able to stay in my own home.
It’s given me the confidence to stay where I want to stay and die where I want to die”.
“Hospice has been my mainstay, they’ve made such a difference and have given me confidence in the journey that is dying. My family don’t live in Rotorua, so rely on Hospice for help with the medical side of things. It gives them great peace of mind, when they can’t be here.
Hospice are like my second family. Knowing they’re only a phone call away is a big comfort to me and my family.”
Betty’s family are appreciative of the knowledge and guidance the palliative care team at Hospice give them. “They ensure Mum always has a voice and that we are kept fully informed and supported. We are forever grateful for their dedication.”
When a person is dying, those closest to them can find it difficult to have conversations about death and dying.
“Hospice makes such a difference and not just on the medical side. Sometimes you can’t talk about dying with your family and friends. It makes them uncomfortable, and they don’t know what to say. Hospice creates a caring, loving atmosphere where I can talk about dying and ask the questions I need to ask.
It’s important to me. I know I’m dying, and I want to be able to talk about it. Knowing I have the support of Hospice gives me great confidence, especially when I’m on my own.”
“Hospice has expert knowledge when it comes to dying. Some of the information can be confronting but you need to know, nonetheless. The Hospice team has given me the knowledge I need to have. They always go the extra mile.”
When Betty learned more about the services Hospice provides, she was surprised that it isn’t fully funded.
“It’s a wonderful service that should be available to anyone who needs it. It’s not just for people with cancer, Hospice helps anyone who is dying. They do important work and should be funded properly. We all come into this world, and we all go out of it. Having help and support when you’re dying makes such a huge difference”.